Trying and realizing
                             (C)Cloey F. Gibbs

I’m now starting to realize i am starting to miss you when people
who know you bring you up.

So i am also guessing that being ‘
away from you is another reason for my
depression as well.

I’m trying to be stronger and
not break down in-front of all those who know you.

So why did you have to leave?
Is it because of me or the fact that we got into
so many fights that we could not resolve?

I am getting tired of your negativity and
bullshit of an attitude , hatred towards
you has grown.

My hatred towards you has grown since
you decided to leave and not keep in
Contact with me.

I feel hurt when those words come out of you mouth ,
“You idiot “. Those words hurt. I feel more neglected
around you.

Your patronizing words piercing through
my  heart, leaving a place that can not
be filled by anyone but you.

You are my enemy of life and past ,
I realized it when i asked you “What
the hell are you doing?”.

I’m trying not to give into you and your
Bullshit and negativity , i hate you still
and you can make the effort to change me
and my mind.

You trying to change me or mind
has no effect on me.

My whole life  has gone down to hell with school and my family is separated so im having issues with that , So now im trying to co-p with Family life and so much more

I was able to remove my studs from my ears I get the first pairs of studs in since June 2012 and now i got a new pair in.